WHY BEING YOURSELF ISN’T WORKING
So, let’s dive into something that’s been on my mind lately—why sometimes being ourselves just doesn’t seem to be working. It might sound a little contradictory at first, but bear with me. I’ve been reflecting a lot on this and wanted to share some insights that might resonate with you, too.
We’ve all heard it a million times: “Just be yourself.” It’s supposed to be the ultimate solution to fitting in, finding happiness, and succeeding in life. I fucking doubt it. But what if you’re doing exactly that—being your most authentic self—and it’s just not working out? It’s like you’re trying to fit into a mold never meant for you. So why isn’t being yourself always the magic formula we hope for?
1. The Wrong Environment
One major reason you might not be working is that you could be in the wrong environment. Think about it: if you’re a creative, free-spirited person stuck in a very structured, traditional job, it’s no surprise you’re frustrated. I went through this myself. Your environment plays a huge role in how well your true self can shine. If you’re constantly bumping up against walls that were never meant to be there, it will be tough to feel like being yourself is enough.
Read my Sabella VIP Blog titled “Escaping Oklahoma”, to see how I was able to break free of toxic environments.
2. Misalignment with Your Goals
Sometimes, being yourself means sticking to your natural inclinations and interests. But what if your goals are pulling you in a different direction? For example, if you’re naturally introverted but your career path requires constant networking and socializing, your authentic self might struggle to keep up. It’s not about changing who you are, but rather figuring out how to align your true self with your ambitions.
3. The Pressure to Conform
We live in a world where conformity often feels like the easiest path to success. Social media, workplace culture, and societal expectations can all create pressure to fit in rather than stand out. You might be trying to be yourself, but if “being yourself” doesn’t align with these pressures, it can feel like you’re constantly swimming upstream.
4. Lack of Support
Being your true self often requires a supportive network. If the people around you don’t encourage or appreciate your authenticity, it’s easy to feel discouraged. This could be in personal relationships, at work, or even within your community. A lack of support can make it feel like being yourself is a lonely or unproductive endeavor.
What Can You Do?
So, what’s the fix? Here’s a little guidance on how to navigate this fucked up situation:
Reevaluate Your Environment: Sometimes, finding the right fit can make all the difference. Whether it’s a job change, a new circle of friends, or a different community, being in a space that values and nurtures your true self can lead to a lot more happiness and success. (please set boundaries, I can’t stress this enough)
Align Your Goals: Take a closer look at your aspirations and see if there’s room to integrate your authentic self into your plans. Maybe you need to tweak your approach or find a way to make your natural strengths work for you in achieving your goals.
Seek Support: Surround yourself with people who get you. Find those who appreciate and encourage your true self. A supportive network can make it easier to navigate the challenges of being yourself in a world that might not always understand. Sometimes it’s great to find HONEST people, but watch out for NEGATIVE people who cover it with honesty.
Adjust as Needed: It’s okay to make small adjustments to how you present yourself without completely abandoning who you are. Sometimes, it’s about finding a balance between authenticity and practicality.
Remember, being yourself is still incredibly valuable, but it’s also okay to recognize when adjustments are needed. It’s all about finding that sweet spot where your true self can thrive in harmony with the world around you.
So, here’s to being true to ourselves—while also navigating the complexities of life with a bit of flexibility and a lot of self-compassion.
